Here’s how to feel happier by using the simple tools below to improve your Emotional Set Point.
What is your Emotional Set Point?
The Emotional Set Point simply means the average of all your daily emotional highs and lows. As you experience different moods or feelings throughout the day, you travel up and down the emotional scale. From joy, appreciation and love to anger, anxiety, sadness and guilt. It also determines your energy vibration, whether you are mostly flowing joyful fast energy, or unhappy slow energy.
Emotions are part of your built-in human guidance system, giving feedback about your overall mood. They signal to you to pay attention to what you are doing or thinking. To make you notice whether a thought you are holding in that moment matches what you want. If you experience an emotion that makes you feel good, you’re in harmony with your desires. And vice versa.
How emotions determine your level of connectedness with your Inner Self
Emotions are also pointers to your energetic vibration in that moment, whether you are currently in line with your Inner Being, which is your non-physical self – your soul essence, your true nature. When you are feeling worthy, loving and lovable you are in line with your inner self. But when you are self-critical, depressed and sad, there is a gap between where you are at and your true nature, your Inner Being. Furthermore, when you can sense this gap, for the most part subconsciously, it leads to further feelings of general dissatisfaction and discomfort.
When you are experiencing positive emotions and feel happier, you are attracting what you want in life by putting out positive energy. You become an energy match to good things coming your way. When you feel negative emotions, you are blocking yourself from your source energy, and so blocking abundance. Continued negative emotions start to attract negative experiences in your life. Learn more Secrets of the Law of Attraction.
The Emotional Set Point Scale
The illustration at the top of this page gives a basic visual scale to help you judge where your own Emotional Set Point is currently. It’s a natural part of life for emotions to fluctuate throughout the day, but you can get a feel for where you are at predominantly. Then you can set about moving your Emotional Set Point a couple of places towards the positive side of the scale.
Making small shifts up the scale, rather than a big leap, is easier to achieve and more likely to produce longer-lasting results. During the day, try to be aware of which emotions you are experiencing on the scale. Then you can shift that negative emotion to a better feeling emotion on the scale by changing what you are focusing on.
Of course, we don’t only feel only one emotion at a time, it’s often a combination. But this scale gives an illustration of how different emotional states can feel better or worse compared to other emotional states. It helps to familiarise yourself with the process of identifying where you are on the scale at in any moment. Then you can search for a better feeling thought.
How to feel happier by improving your Emotional Set Point
Your Emotional Set Point is affected by how you respond to life events. How quickly you ‘pivot’ – bounce back when something happens that doesn’t match what you want. How good you are at searching for a better feeling thought and shifting your attention there. This is a very important skill to develop.
Although we measure emotions or feelings as being negative or positive, it’s really just information. A negative emotion tells you there’s something you might want to change, because what you are doing, or thinking, is not bringing you joy. Rather than trying to just suppress the negative emotion, it’s helpful to look at what might be the root cause of the feeling. You can explore how you can change things, where possible, by making different choices. First of all it’s important to notice when your mind is falling into a pattern of stressful thinking and limiting beliefs. There are further tips to help with this in Free yourself from negative thinking.
Then you can reach for better feeling thoughts and emotions and move your Emotional Set Point up the scale to a more positive state. Whatever you focus on is what you get more of.
How to feel happier
The techniques below will help you improve your Emotional Set Point and so feel happier.
It helps to remind yourself of the things that make you feel good. Then you can call on them easily whenever you notice your mood and emotions are in the bottom half of the scale. You can write a list of things you like, memories or activities that make you happy and make you feel good.
Then you can use these to bring in pockets of joy to your day, to help you move up the scale a couple of places and feel happier whenever you have a blip in your mood. This is how you can pivot your mood back to a positive one when something happens that you don’t like. Finding something to laugh at is the quickest and most effective way to instantly boost your mood. What’s more, smiling, even when you don’t feel like it, triggers the body to start producing feel good hormones. Read more about: The health benefits of laughter
First make your ‘toolkit’ of things that make you feel happier
You could start by making a list of around 15 things that help you feel happier, or make you laugh. Then, whenever you notice your low mood, you can choose to soothe yourself with thoughts of these things you like. Just a simple change in what you are focusing your attention on moves you up the emotional scale towards more positives. And so you start to feel better and improve your Emotional and Vibrational Set Point. For example:
5-10 things you can DO that make you feel happier, such as:
- Singing along with a song you love
- Taking care of or petting an animal
- Dancing round the kitchen (I like to do that with the dog!)
- Listening to music that makes you feel good
- Laughing at funny animal videos
- Taking a brisk walk in nature
And then do them, wherever possible, whenever you notice a blip in your mood. Although that doesn’t mean overindulging – eating chocolate cake for example. Because ultimately that doesn’t make you feel good. (And obviously, if you have a problem with over-eating, you wouldn’t include food in your lists. Equally, if you have a problem with alcohol, you wouldn’t choose to have alcoholic drinks on your lists.)
5-10 things that make you smile and feel happier when you THINK about them, such as:
- A favourite person, pet or place
- A joke or funny story
- Something funny that happened to you or someone else
- Things in your life that you love
Then think about them when your mood is low. It’s possible to call on these in any difficult situation. For example, when you’re sitting in the dentist’s chair you can mentally sing a song you love in your head. (Although the dentist might not appreciate you trying to sing it out loud!) It distracts your mind and boosts your mood.
I have a list of more than 20 things that make me laugh on my phone. I bring them to mind whenever I’m stuck in traffic or having to deal with something I would rather not .
5-10 MEMORIES of a time when you were very happy, such as:
- When you were with a favourite person
- When you were doing an activity you love
- Feeling carefree as a child
- Being in a place you love, such as a holiday location
Then later you call to mind the memories to boost your mood. However, you should feel them as if you’re experiencing them in the now. For example, if you think of a time when you were drinking a cocktail on the beach – taste the drink, feel the sand beneath your toes, feel the heat of the sun and hear all the sounds and smell all the smells around you as if it was now. This strengthens the positive impact and quickly shifts you mood to feel good.
You can constantly add new things to your lists as they occur to you. Once you know how to feel happier, you can have these great tools in your ’emotional kit bag’, to bring out when you are in a low mood, or facing a challenge.
Face your challenges and pivot
However, whenever you have a challenging situation to deal with, it’s important to face it and deal with it straight away, rather than ‘park’ it for later. Otherwise it will probably jump into your mind to be resolved just as you are trying to sleep. In this instance, rather than distracting yourself with positive thoughts as above, consider your best remedial action – your happiest path through the difficulty. Then take the necessary action. If it’s a circumstance outside of your control, make your peace with it and accept it. Learn more about Dealing with Challenges effectively.
Once you have decided on the best remedial action to the challenging situation, you can then focus on feeling happier. You can then work on raising your emotional set point, rather than getting stuck in a worry loop about the difficulty.
Why is it good to speed up your vibration?
Everything is composed of energy vibrating at different frequencies, even the ground and the rocks under your feet, which have a slow vibration. When you speed up your energy vibration, you can flow more of the energy of your Inner Being, your life force. This leads to greater wellbeing and vitality, slower aging, more intuitive flow and more flow of innate joy.
What’s more, as more people speed up their energy, it speeds up the Emotional Set Point of the whole earth population. This means there is more balancing out of the energy of those stuck in slower vibrational fear, self-doubt, anger and vengeance etc. Those with a faster vibration tend to have more understanding of the oneness and interconnectedness of us all. Those with a slower vibration tend to be stuck in the individual and tribal mentality. They feel the need for competition – survival of the fittest. People with slower vibrations are led more by their monkey mind than their inner guidance. Learn how to Tame your anxious monkey mind.
Becoming more aware of your own emotional guidance system, and taking steps to consciously choose better-feeling thoughts, helps you to come more into alignment with your Inner Being. This is your innate, natural source of joy.
Other tools to help you improve your Emotional Set Point
An Access Bars healing session
If you would like help to let go of negative thinking patterns and mental clutter, a session of Access Consciousness Bars will help to clear your energy and re-balance you. It will help you release your limiting beliefs so you can then use the techniques above more effectively.
The Blast Technique to release emotional trauma
If you have experienced emotional traumas in your life, you may have been unable to process them in a balanced way. So the emotions they provoked still trouble you and may crop up as irrational fears, worry, anxiety or low self-worth. This can have an ongoing negative affect on your Emotional Set Point. If you would like help to release and reprocess your past traumas, I have a quick and effective solution. The Blast Technique is eye movement therapy which quickly reprocesses and releases traumatic emotions from the past.
The Tonal Alignment spiritual activation
When you’ve got your Emotional Set Point into a good, more positive place, you may choose to have the Tonal Alignment. This is a two-part spiritual activation which helps to fix your Emotional Set Point at a positive point. It then builds on that positive state for spiritual growth. It also helps to expand your connection to your Inner Being, for greater wellbeing and inner peace.
Other blog posts to help
Self-love is fundamental to having a good Emotional Set Point. This is because you must first be able to love yourself in order to truly be able to love other people. You can’t feel true happiness if you haven’t learned to be happy with yourself. Learn how to be comfortable in your own skin, so you can then be truly comfortable with others: The importance of self-love and self-esteem
Understand how you are using the Law of Attraction every moment of you life, whether or not you are aware of it. Discover how you can use it to attract more of what you want in life, and less of what you don’t want. The key to manifesting your dreams and whatever you want in life is to practise FEELING often the joy that you will have when what you want has manifested. Learn how to practise feeling it in the NOW, to draw it into your reality: Manifesting your dreams
Help to change your thinking
You shouldn’t believe everything you think. Learn how to break the vicious circle of limiting negative thinking patterns that keep your Emotional Set Point low: Free yourself from negative thinking. Read more tips to change the focus of your thinking to more positive, joyful ones in: Change your negatives to positives
Meditation is a very effective tool to increase your flow of wellbeing and positive emotions. What’s more it’s free, and once you learn how, you can do it practically anywhere. Learn more in: The benefits of meditation for stress relief and better health
Your Inner Being is the source of your inner joy, your true nature. As you improve your Emotional Set Point, you expand your connection to your Inner Being. And conversely, as you learn to expand the connection to your inner self, more joy flows to you naturally: Get to know your Inner Being
Prolonged negative thinking and a negative Emotional Set Point can lead to physical illness. Learn how to break that pattern to have a positive impact on your physical health: What creates illness
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